Bosun's Mate Smythers (Jake Brossard)

Smythers stowed away on the Portobello Rose to escape from his abusive father, Beaty McBeatman. Beaty made him lug cucumbers to and from his home near the docks of Portobello. It was hard, green work but Smythers put his back into it and grew strong. He also grew to hate cucumbers.

In a fit of anger Captain Wycked Jack threw the previous Bosun's Mate to a rabid pack of duck-billed platypuses leaving an opportunity for Smythers to come aboard. After a gruesome interview and much fraternity hazing,  Smythers became the new Bosun's Mate.

Smythers later discovered an uncanny ability to entertain visitors to the privy and First Mate Obediah Jib decided it was in the crews'  best interest if Smythers was trained in the art of improv.

Smythers brought along his love of heavy metal and Metallica, along with a charm that not even the captain can deny. When not in character Jake busies himself with school, writing, guitar and brain teasers.

Appearances & Roles

Back

SMYTHER'S STATS:

Turn Ons: Pickles, Metallica, Metallica, Braingle, Metallica.

Turn Offs: Cucumbers

Favorite Food: Subway sandwiches, banana cream pie.

Favorite Pickup Line: "My knees hurt bad, because I just fell for you!"

Goals: Learning more guitar and going to a Metallica concert.

Advice: "Eat the scones!"

Best Quote: "I had diarrhea like it was a high school fad!"